Lucas and Chuck give us so many things to be thankful for, observing them experience new things, listening to them giggle, and watching them share secrets with each other.
It got me thinking, "how can I get my kid to be thankful? Is that even possible?"
I don't think there's a single person in the world who sets off on the adventure of parenthood with the goal of raising a self-centered child. Twenty-two months into it, I have to honestly admit, I can see how some kids become self-centered. I'll give you the play-by-play: the first months of my daughter's life, I gave her what ever she asked for. My main goal was to decrease the amount of crying that came out of her. If buying her a golden pony encrusted with diamonds would have made that happen, I would have done it. About a year ago I had "a moment". Chuck was doing something wrong at the dinner table, I looked at her firmly and said "no". I didn't raise my voice. I didn't look upset, but she knew that I wasn't pleased at that moment. The above photo is the result of this interaction. I snapped it right before things took a turn for the worse. Her little lip came out, her eyes welled with tears, and I felt horrible. What ever it was that she did that was so wrong (I honestly can't even remember it at this moment) was it so bad to make my baby girl turn into a melty mess? It was this moment I realized that I was no longer just some lady taking care of a baby; I was a parent. I was overwhelmed with guilt: did I over react? I'm not a giant believer in tough love. At that precise moment, all my heart wanted to do was scoop my daughter up in my arms, tell her I was sorry, and explain that everything would be OK. I realized though, that I couldn't do this. I had to stand my ground. I had to let her cry. It was the longest 30 seconds of my life.
I am a complete word dork. I am especially fascinated by words that are both nouns and verbs. The moment that I realized I was a parent, was made infinitely more sublime by realizing I was, myself, both a noun and a verb.
Parent (n): One who begets, gives birth to, or nurtures and raises a child; a father or mother.
Parent (v) bring up.
So, how do you (the parent) teach your child to be thankful? How do bring up your kid to be thankful? This is still a work in progress in my household, and probably will be for the next several decades; however, this is the plan I am going to try. It follows the age old philosophy of "Monkey See. Monkey Do."
Model Being Thankful (Monkey See)
Chuck's first words were rather normal, "mama," "dada," and "baba". It was her next words that made me proud: "day dew." That's Chuck for "thank you". She still says it; sometimes at inappropriate times that it makes it almost comical. I choose to believe that she picked this up from all the times I would say "thank you" when someone did something for me (picked up a toy, brought dinner to the table). It makes me realize that if you want your child to be thankful, you have to model this behavior yourself. I hope her little "day dew" blossoms into a thousand heartfelt thanks within her lifetime. I hope she one day realizes exactly what she is saying and why she is saying it. Right now, however, we have to start some where.
Do Thankful Things (Monkey Do)
Next week Lucas and Chuck are going to get together with some friends and deliver cookies to our local senior center. Is this going to save the world? No, but hopefully we'll bring a little joy to people who may not be able to celebrate Thanksgiving with their families, or maybe to someone who's just having a blah kinda day. Will Lucas and Chuck know why their moms lugged them to the senior center? Probably not, but if I waited until Chuck understood things, well, then I'd be one bored mama. What I really hope is that this is something that becomes a LuCk tradition, and in 10 years Lucas and Chuck will say, "hey, Mom, you know how you've lugged us to the senior center for the last 10 years? Well, I've been thinking about it, and why can't we go to the senior center every Thursday?" 'Cause, hopefully this will bring a smile to everyone's face.*
I'd love to take credit for all these ideas, but being a mother in the 21st Century, I Googled "how to teach my kid to be thankful".
Here's the most helpful resources I found:
Teaching Children to be Grateful
5 Ways to Raise a Grateful Child
How to Raise Grateful Kids
*also, because I couldn't leave you with a pic of my miserable daughter, without a few smiles to balance it out.
Parent (v) bring up.
So, how do you (the parent) teach your child to be thankful? How do bring up your kid to be thankful? This is still a work in progress in my household, and probably will be for the next several decades; however, this is the plan I am going to try. It follows the age old philosophy of "Monkey See. Monkey Do."
Model Being Thankful (Monkey See)
Chuck's first words were rather normal, "mama," "dada," and "baba". It was her next words that made me proud: "day dew." That's Chuck for "thank you". She still says it; sometimes at inappropriate times that it makes it almost comical. I choose to believe that she picked this up from all the times I would say "thank you" when someone did something for me (picked up a toy, brought dinner to the table). It makes me realize that if you want your child to be thankful, you have to model this behavior yourself. I hope her little "day dew" blossoms into a thousand heartfelt thanks within her lifetime. I hope she one day realizes exactly what she is saying and why she is saying it. Right now, however, we have to start some where.
Do Thankful Things (Monkey Do)
Next week Lucas and Chuck are going to get together with some friends and deliver cookies to our local senior center. Is this going to save the world? No, but hopefully we'll bring a little joy to people who may not be able to celebrate Thanksgiving with their families, or maybe to someone who's just having a blah kinda day. Will Lucas and Chuck know why their moms lugged them to the senior center? Probably not, but if I waited until Chuck understood things, well, then I'd be one bored mama. What I really hope is that this is something that becomes a LuCk tradition, and in 10 years Lucas and Chuck will say, "hey, Mom, you know how you've lugged us to the senior center for the last 10 years? Well, I've been thinking about it, and why can't we go to the senior center every Thursday?" 'Cause, hopefully this will bring a smile to everyone's face.*
I'd love to take credit for all these ideas, but being a mother in the 21st Century, I Googled "how to teach my kid to be thankful".
Here's the most helpful resources I found:
Teaching Children to be Grateful
5 Ways to Raise a Grateful Child
How to Raise Grateful Kids
*also, because I couldn't leave you with a pic of my miserable daughter, without a few smiles to balance it out.
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